Friday, December 19, 2008

Keeping Vigil

My sweet Molasses took a sudden and serious turn for the worst last Wednesday night when she started hemorrhaging from her nose. I have no words to adequately express the feeling of fear and helplessness that we felt. Now it has become our new normal, as we keep a loving vigil over her. We have covered our living room with blankets and towels, and that has been where Mo and I have been camping out. She in her bed, and I most of the day and night by her side on a blow up mattress.

Molasses for the most part, has been alert and comfortable. I do my best just to keep her warm and quiet, and try to stop the bleeding each time it starts. Last night was good, and I awoke with hope that today things would start to really turn around for the better. Unfortunately after waking she experienced another pretty bad episode. Mo is relaxing peacefully as I type this, but I can clearly see the toll this is taking on her as she seems to be growing weaker. I still pray for a miracle, but know, as the vet has told me, this is most likely the beginning of the end.

Each moment over the last few days has been filled with much sadness, but also much much beauty and grace. I am profoundly thankful for getting to simply lay with her, to gaze into her big beautiful brown eyes, to tell her for the one millionth time how much I love her and to thank her from the depths of my soul for bringing me so much joy and happiness. Molasses returns my look, staring deep into my eyes. She sighs, rolls over for a belly rub and dozes a bit more.