Every year at Christmas time I get completely stressed out. I worry and obsess and try to create the perfect image of what a happy Christmas is suppose to be. The lights, the decorations, the tree, the treats, the presents. And I dread it. And I feel guilty for dreading it. And all of that worry, obsessing, dread and guilt wears me out.
This year though none of that matters. Life, (as well as our living room) got turned a bit upside down when Molasses entered into this final stage of her cancer. Funny thing is, I am starting to think that Mo didn't get the memo that she was supposedly on her way out, and I am so happy! As a matter of fact, this is the happiest I have felt during the Christmas season in a long time.
We joke that our blanket and towel covered living room, which I have affectionately dubbed Camp Mo, looks a bit like a crime scene, what with all of the little splatters of blood everywhere from her nose. Thankfully she hasn't had any bad bleeds in the last 2 days, but a sneeze or a simple shake of the head can send a few red droplets flying, (and we have been told that the hemorrhaging can, and will, start up again at anytime... which truthfully scares the daylights out of me.) She is more tired then usual, but considering that on Friday we were calling the Vets to make the preliminary arrangements for when the "time came", (which we all thought was going to be any day) she has rebounded remarkably well since then. Her appetite is still good, and she even gets a bit of energy now in the afternoons and plays a little with her toys.
Hubby is on vacation this week, and we now take turns sleeping by her side at night on the air mattress, and being with her during the day. The house decor is certainly not looking very festive, the tree is only half decorated, and half of the lights are burned out! I have completely slacked on the gifts, and only sent half of the Christmas cards on my list. But the home is filled with lots of love and joy and thanks to Molasses BooDill, I have my priorities straight this year. Forgive me, for I know I am stating the obvious, but it really is all about the love. Not the lights, nor the tree. Not the cards or the cookies. And not even the gifts on Christmas morning. It is just about the love. The Who's in Whoville had it right. So did Charles Schultz when he proclaimed that happiness was a warm puppy!
Thanks to everyone for their kind and loving words. Things are looking up that Mo will make it to her 12th Birthday on Christmas Day, which is all any of us here want. (However, we did give her a few early presents just in case. You never saw a dog love to open a present more then Mo. She won't steal your food, but she will steal your unopened presents!)
I have also been doing some quilting/sewing, when not watching Mo, as it is tops for filling my well and keeps me going. I hope to post some pictures here and some new items in my shop after the holidays.
Best wishes to all of you! xoxo
